I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at < http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq> Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments you may receive. Document: draft-ietf-netext-pd-pmip-11 Reviewer: Martin Thomson Review Date: 2013-10-27 IETF LC End Date: 2013-10-31 IESG Telechat date: ? This document is ready (PS), modulo a few niggles. Minor issues: Where is ALL_ZERO defined? (Same for NON_ZERO.) I can guess, but I don't like doing that. S5.3: It's been a while since I've done DHCP, but doesn't the client use port 68? Wouldn't that mean that the SA1(OUT) and SA2(IN) rules require a label for both local_port and remote_port? Or have we started to use ephemeral ports at the client now (in which case, good, because that port 68 thing is a major headache)? Nits: The overview sections don't make it easy to work out what this document is actually defining. It took me until 3.2.3 to be even moderately certain what it was that this documented defined. Is there any way to be more specific about what extensions are being defined in S1 or the lead-in to S3? S1: "In this context, the mobility management support that is enabled for an individual IP host, which is the mobile node." Seems like an unfinished sentence. Or maybe a redundant "that". S2: This document really needs a f'rinstance. It's pretty clear why this is being done, but it's unnecessarily convoluted by a need to use the official labels for everything. For instance, LFN is probably just my PC tethered to my phone (the MR). S3.2.1: Expand acronyms. 5.1.2: The text around PBU is strange with regard to the lifetime of zero conditions. Suggest a four-way list rather than two-way-plus-exceptions-on-each.